im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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