hell yes lets make some ravioli
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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