I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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