oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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