I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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