great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
