used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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