I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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