I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize