I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
