ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
