I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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