I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
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Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
These tits shall not be calmed
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