did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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