just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
