I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
