The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
These tits shall not be calmed
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