I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
