Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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