just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
