i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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