Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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