who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
