this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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