I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize