he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
