Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
