Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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