In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
