never play flip cup with pint glasses
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
