I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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