You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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