she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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