one two three fourrrrnication!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
