I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
