summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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