I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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