i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this will be a night to untag.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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