you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
