FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
