She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
