i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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