Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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