sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you win again, gameday.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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