Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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