youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
