I'm lost and stupid without you.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
