If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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