You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
