He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
