alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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