i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
