Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize