It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
