??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
she looked like the before picture.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
