I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
