I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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