Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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