yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
