we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
