I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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