At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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