Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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